Don't Worry About Me

I love Aidan Martin's music. Songs he wrote himself just resonate with me; however, he's done a lot of covers that do the same. Maybe it's the way he sings them that tend to pull me in and make me feel them more than the original artist may have done. So here is one that really got to me.







And the lyrics:

I'll feel the fear for you, I'll cry your tears for you
I'll do anything I can to make you comfortable
Even if I fall down when you're not around
Don't worry about me, don't worry about me

If I fall, you'll fall
And if I rise, we'll rise together
When I smile, you'll smile
And don't worry about me, don't worry about me

I'll climb the hills you face, I'll do this in your place
I'd do anything to go through it instead of you
But even if I fall down when you're not around
Don't worry about me, don't worry about me


Cause if I fall, you'll fall
And if I rise, we rise together
When I smile, you'll smile
And don't worry about me, don't worry about me

Broken. Damaged. That's me.

I. Am. Broken. Damaged.

I'm not whole and I know I never will be. No one wants a broken toy. No one wants a person so broken they have a hard time finding their own worth some days. I have trust issues, self-worth issues, major depressive disorder (MDD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I struggle many days to be thankful I am alive. One thing I know, is most days I am grateful to be alive; grateful to be here for my kids and those who do genuinely care about me. Other days, I struggle to be happy I am alive.

I look at myself and all I see is damaged goods. I see the scars. The ugly outward scars I can cover with my clothes. The inner scars I hide behind humor, usually directed at myself. I try to hide the ugly with being this outwardly happy person. I try to hide the ugly by caring for and about others the way I wish I was cared for/about. I want others to have the smile I cannot find many days. I want them to feel better than I feel. I think I'm successful. I think... it works...

Fresh Start.

Maybe I'll be able to keep up with it this time. The plan is to use this as an outlet to the never-ending experiences who have shaped who I am and continue to shape me and influence/impact me. Maybe my experiences and thoughts on them will help someone out there who have gone through or are going through something I've experienced. No rhyme or reason to the posts - just whatever is in my head.